It’s the shrillness. The high-pitched vocal frequency teeters at the brink of shattering glass and scattering class.
No doubt it is a powerful voice, but not Mariah- or Celine-powerful. These women have something in their vocal tones that start with the letter ‘C’ and it ain’t found in Miss Perry. It’s Jezebel raising the hell out of the decibels from the depths of her bowels.
Add a techno track, overlay it with several more tracks for the noise of it rather than any musical reason and you’ve got KP.
Unfortunately, Andre thinks her songs are the bee’s knees. Fortunately, we drive separate cars. Unluckily, riding together in his car means I get steadily tetchy and antsy with each caterwauling vowel from the cutesy Ms Perry on the car stereo. Luckily, I don’t ride his car that often.
He thinks I’m exaggerating. It’s just music he says. Don’t make it sound so bad. But to someone who hears pitches turn into screeches which scratch my aural senses like a kitten with claws extended, it’s death by a thousand cats.
Unfortunately, I’m not tone deaf. But as it turns out, Andre is.
Press PLAY at your own risk.
To mitigate the crassness, here is one beautiful poem by a late great American poet.
You and Me and P.B. Shelley by Ogden Nash (1902 — 1971)
What is life? Life is stepping down a step or sitting in a chair,
And it isn’t there.
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor,
It is pulling doors marked PUSH and pushing doors marked PULL and not noticing notices which say PLEASE USE OTHER DOOR.
It is when you diagnose a sore throat as an unprepared geography lesson and send your child weeping to school only to be returned an hour later covered with spots that are indubitably genuine,
It is a concert with a trombone soloist filling in for Yehudi Menuhin.
Were it not for frustration and humiliation
I suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.
Somebody once described Shelley as a beautiful and ineffective angel beating his luminous wings against the void in vain,
Which is certainly describing with might and main,
But probably means that we are all brothers under our pelts,
And Shelley went around pulling doors marked PUSH and pushing doors marked PULL just like everybody else.
What are your thoughts on Katy Perry? Fan or big fan? Tell me what you think.